The Joys? of Pregnancy

Every pregnancy is different. I've heard it a thousand times and believe me, it couldn't be closer to the truth!

When I was pregnant with Carter, I loved it. Yes, I suffered a bit of morning (and 5pm) sickness, but it was short-lived and the rest of my pregnancy was smooth sailing. Despite a rocky finish with a bout of high blood pressure and an induction at 37 weeks, I felt good. In the months following his birth I actually missed being "with child", rubbing my non-pregnant belly at the most inopportune times. Once or twice, I was caught by onlookers wondering if I had a stomach ache.

This time around, things were different. I threw up all day, every day for about 16 weeks or so. I wore really stylish bracelets (intended for motion sickness) which made it rather difficult to hide the pregnancy from co-workers in the heat of summer. I would wear long sleeves and extra deodorant in an effort to avoid inquiring minds.

Let me make a small disclaimer, that I happen to hate when people make choices for themselves and complain about these choices in an effort to make others feel sorry for them. HOWEVER, pregnant women and mothers need to stick together. We are a sisterhood and someone needs to warn others of the imminent dangers of getting to know your new porcelain friend (we'll call him John).

As far as "morning sickness" goes, I have to say that no one can truly understand this heinous phenomenon unless they've experienced it themselves. There is nothing like it. And if you're a man, please note that the stomach bug you suffered from 3 years ago, does not even come close. I threw up in the car, at work, in the car on the way to work, in restaurants, in a bed and breakfast, in a rest area, in a port-o-let...the list goes on. Did I mention that I was told that it would be worse with twins? I didn't believe it until the day it arrived banging down my (bathroom) door.

Another pleasant side effect which I discovered while carrying twins, was the torpedo-like "growth" many refer to as the belly. My stomach grew so preposterously large, I looked like I was smuggling a watermelon. I also had the great bonus of having a full length mirror hanging just inches from my shower. So, when the time came to exit the tub, BAM! There was this tall, disproportionate amazon woman staring back at me. It never failed to amaze me, especially towards the end. Once simple tasks such as tying my shoes or giving my son a bath became painful, if not impossible! I cannot fathom people like Kate Gosselin, the TLC mommy of 8, who you could say "fell from grace" this past year. How did she carry sextuplets? And here I am complaining about two! Still, as a woman who has managed to avoid major body image issues, I wondered if my belly would ever go back to normal, or transform into a saggy, wrinkled, stretch mark ridden bag of loose skin.

At the risk of sounding like an awful mother, I also have to come clean about my feelings regarding the babies kicking. I agree, pregnancy is a true miracle-the first time around I loved those little movements. The twins on the other hand, were nothing short of freaky. When they moved around it looked like something out of a Stephen King movie not to mention it didn't feel all that pleasant. There were absolutely no vaccancies in my dear old hotel a la uterus, so when they moved it felt like my skin would just tear open and an alien would pop out. And hiccups! Don't even get me started on the constant hiccups...

I won't go into all the other little party favors I received this time around, because many are rather disgusting and may prevent my single girlfriends from ever taking the plunge into motherhood. Let's just say that I had a revelation that these little beings inside of me were going to give me a run for my money.